As Ben’s partner, sharing his journey both during and post addiction has been a significant and positive learning experience – extremely rewarding and, at times, disturbing. Although never scared, I just didn’t know what to expect from an addict, nor could I believe I was sharing my life with a meth user and addict. I had never been around drugs or people who did drugs (that I knew of). “Would I be capable of supporting him (and be true to me) through this journey?” was a question asked often during those early days of discovery.

I am extremely proud of Ben for choosing his current path for living. His choice to free himself from addiction (I wonder if one is ever really free of any addiction.) was solely his choice. It could not be done for anyone but himself, we talked about this, if he was to achieve success. My only guidance to myself, that little voice in my head kept reminding me, was to be present and to love him through the different stages he would be going through, in addition to praying that our relationship would survive the battle with addiction.

Ben confessed to using since he was 15 and that he did not know what his personality would be when he stopped using and after the chemicals had left his body. He had been diagnosed with rage as a younger child, had been on mood altering prescription drugs for a time. He was scared and worried as to who Ben would be once out of the grips of a meth high - as he was almost constantly emotionally working on his way up or down from a high. What I knew to be true was that there was a loving, caring and sensitive – not to mention highly intelligent – person living under the veneer of meth use. I knew in my heart that the person who emerged from the cloud of meth addiction would be an outstanding and loving partner. I had seen glimpses of this person in his eyes.

On the first morning, after going without meth for a certain period of time, I awoke finding Ben on the sofa asleep. Upon my approach to him, his eyes fluttered open, and I could see into his eyes for the first time Ben as he really was. His eyes were clear of a certain fog, the battle over addiction had been temporarily achieved and I could see my partner’s soul, though his eyes, for the first time. He was beautiful. He was kind. He was the person that we all know and love today as a friend, brother, partner, lover, son and uncle. It was an incredible day.

More to come….

Thanks Amy! Jason is an amazing guy and he has been here for me through thick and thin...I hit the boyfriend lottery!

Ben: You are doing something with your syringe project that I can see growing and growing. You are helping other people, inspiring others... you and Jason are such a great pair and support each other in a way that many people should take as a shining example. I can't tell you how much I admire you for what you are sharing and doing.

Ben- You are a true inspiration, To travel this road and to come out the other side of this life's highway the way you have is something to be proud of. To have a partner standing strong beside you in Jason is something that you have been blessed with, We all have been blessed with Jason, with his love and support you have been able to blossom in to who you are today.. and It truly has been an honor for me to get to know you, to get to see what makes BenJamin ;-) "tick" and to see and know what makes you laugh.. (MOPED - LOL) too feel what you stand strong in... thanks for sharing some of "the BenJamin" with me.. :-)

Ben you are an amazing person. I know that because you are not the victim in addiction you are the advocate for those who no longer know themselves. A true inspiring testimony of how you fought and won. Jason I thank you for being the support person that my Ben needed. Because of you I can share many memories with him. I look forward to meeting you one day.