It has been five years since I did my last injection of Methamphetamines and it has taken five years to rediscover my true creativity. The challenges have been many and so far, the rewards have been amazing. The questions that have always loomed most in my mind for the last five years are, “Can I be creative sober...were the drugs the driving force of my creativity...is my creativity honest or did my ideas come only at the helm of sleepless nights and spending hours and hours standing in front of my easel?”

I have had many phases of recovery. First I missed the rush and the friends. I missed fitting into my pants and then I missed being able to go to my studio and paint for 5 days straight. I missed my drug scale and the feel of those plastic bags as I snapped them open with one hand and finally, I missed the feel of the syringe. Oh the syringe, in most cases my best friend, the vehicle to my equivalent of a relaxing stroll on a beach and then it hit me…how do I rekindle this old flame…plain and simple I wanted my syringes back.